by Willie Green
If you want to shape up your house and style it up a bit so that it becomes more tempting to prospective buyers, then you should know that this is exactly what home staging does. The aim of home staging is to appeal to most people by creating an impersonal yet welcoming atmosphere that will draw attention to the positive features of the house while moving attention away from the negative.
If you want to fail miserably at home staging and turn off prospective buyers very quickly, here?s what you should do:
Do no gardening for at least three or four weeks. You want buyers to be overcome with horror, not the joy of a well-kept, fairy-tale garden.
Don?t you dare mend anything that?s broken around the house - broken windows and doors falling off their hinges always give a house a horror movie look.
Cleaning should not be a word in your vocabulary these days. The dust on your furniture should be at least two inches high and when your buyers tread on your gray carpets, make sure to tell them they were white once. Dirty dishes in the kitchen sink are fabulous - buyers hate a dirty kitchen.
Keep every room as dull and dreary as possible. Leave lights and lamps off, close the drapes and leave the trees to block out the sun. This way the sale of your home will be as good as dead.
Pets are a wonderful client-inhibitor so make sure your house is overcrowded with them and their litter trays, and if you don?t have them, borrow from a pet-shelter.
Clean, hygienic bathrooms are for sissies, not for brave-hearts like you. So don?t you dare go near your bathtub or your toilet while holding a detergent in your hands!
Close all the windows the week before show day, and spend the week cooking pungent foods and smoking cigars. Oxygen masks are back in fashion.
Turn your house into a bug heaven. If there aren?t enough bugs in the house, then go on and get some. So don?t dust the corners, because you don?t want spiders to leave their habitat, and try to leave food on the floor as it?s the quickest way to attract roaches and ants - and rest assured that they?ll advertise and soon your house will be swarming with their relatives.
Bring on the freeze Tell them you can?t afford to turn the heat on! But if it?s hot as an oven outside, turn the thing full on and give your visitors a taste of hell.
Suffocate your visitors with your lovely presence. You need to keep a close watch on your visitors every second of their tour and while you keep them from nosing into your cupboards and cabinets, entertain them with an endless account of your spiteful neighbors and the beasts they keep as pets.
By doing all this, you can be sure that no sane person will ever want to buy your house. A lot of home staging boils down to common sense. Buyers are more likely to show interest in a home that is well-kept and neat as a pin, so try to make a point of avoiding any of the above if selling your home is indeed what you want.
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